Tuesday, March 07, 2006

the verdict

the oscar awards were boring. jon stewart was boring. the opening spiel was boring (the only part we laughed was when billy crystal and chris rock popped their heads out of the brokeback tent—haha! that was too hilarious and quite unexpected!). the whole show was boring. (the winners? no surprises there. except for that pimp song. it's the sign o' the times, baby...) and worst of all, the gowns were boring! no stunners, no standouts, no stands-the-test-of-times (as in, years from now, we'll all remember that gown, e.g., nicole in chartreuse dior, uma in lavender prada, julia in vintage valentino, hell, even sharon in a gap tee!). it was a sea of black! black black boring black! although there were a few gowns that caught our eye...
radiant color! michelle williams in what we call mongol-yellow vera wang; jennifer lopez in vintage jean dessés in a gorgeous green (do those extra drapes camouflage or accentuate those j.lo hips? you decide)
trend alert! evening gowns with pockets. sandra bullock in angel sanchez and maggie gyllenhaal in bottega veneta kept their hands warm (and their dates' pockets light)
keira knightley (in vera wang), just because she's so bee-yoo-tiful!
jessica alba (in versace), just because this girl cleans up gooood. this is a goddess in the making. (so you see, jessie baby, playboy knew what it was doing!)
salma hayek (in versace), just because she had the most ill-fitting gown. the asymmetrically cut bodice smashed one boob and lifted the other. even our dad observed, "bakit tabingi ang susu niya?" ("why are her boobs lopsided?") our sentiments exactly!
charlize theron (in dior haute couture by john galliano), just because that big-ass bow was so huge it ended up blocking matt dillon's view!
nicole kidman (in balenciaga by nicolas ghesquière), uma thurman (in atelier versace) and karolina kurkova (in marchesa), just because they're so tall and slim, they look good in anything! (although that pale shade is not very flatterring on ghostly white skin)
could there be any more black?? L-R, jennifer aniston in rochas, felicity huffman in zac posen, hilary swank in versace, rachel weisz in narciso rodriguez, queen latifah in carmen marc valvo

(photos courtesy of nytimes.com, people.aol.com, style.com, vogue.co.uk)

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